The End

Hello, lovelies.
Without too much fanfare (how odd, I know) I am annoucning that I am officially ending this section of my life.
I love you love you love, more than I can say. Honestly.  I cannot bring myself to write in this space anymore. For whatever reason I feel very confined.  But I can never thank you enough for allowing me a place to have passed so many years of my life (from before the birth of my child).

I hope, if you have stopped in for a visit, that you send me a farewell in the comments.  I have a few things I'd like to share with you in another arena if you do.


Short Rest

I feel momentarily like wallowing.  I would like to sit down and cry. Right Now.  For a very long time. Until my head hurts and my sobs come out in strangled gasps.

I would like to pretend I am Atlas, but I have less responsibility and am more delicate; my confidence and bravado a costume to be donned when necessary, like Wendy in Never Never Land, pretending my way into this life.  She was shot from the skies with an arrow, saved by a pretend kiss worn around her neck. 

I am tired. Don't believe for a moment that I don't love this life of mine. It is everything I want it to be; and when it isn't, I change it.  It just takes a lot of energy to make believe things into reality.

And sometimes it is hard, too. I am tired.
and repetitive.

But in my tired sadness and desire to collapse against a tree in the woods with a pretend kiss wrapped lightly around my collar bone, resting on my sternum, I want to thank each of you that walk along with me. 

Thank you for following, leading, pushing, prodding, waiting, watching, and resting with me.


May Days

It is almost summer.  We are THIS close.  Closer, actually. thisclose.  Commencement falls very early for us this year.  It's this Saturday!  It has thrown my entire world off kilter.  Aurora doesn't get out of school until the 24th.  The danger of working on a college campus (especially one where you attended school) is coming down with Senoritis.  It is a reoccurring issue which always crops up during May.  Once you've caught it it will always come back.  I'm sure you can make all sorts of corollaries to infectious diseases that won't be mentioned here.

This May is kind of a big deal for me.  It's 10 years since I walked.

Me and Stella Bella (oh, so precious)

I loved my graduation.  Although as an events person I pray for no rain, I was so ecstatic that as soon as our diplomas were given it began to sprinkle. You can even note the umbrella in the background. A few minutes after this photo it poured, and we were all delightfully drenched.  Howard, one of my history professors, grinned at me, "You know, God is happy when it rains!"

And THIS May... well, I'm more excited and happier than I was 10 years ago. 
And we are doing soooo much!

We are getting healthy. 

I've survived my first week with P90X.  I love it and am so excited to be on my second week.  I do those workouts in the morning and in the evenings Aurora and I have been going to the park to play kickball and ultimate frisbee.  She is quite the little Jillian Michaels. She likes to kick or throw things in the opposite direction of me and scream, "Run! Run! Run! Mom! Get it!"  Especially when I start to slow down.

Aurora is also helping me learn how to cook and eat healthy ("Mom, do you really think you should eat that pretzel stick?"). 

We've been making salads.

With delicious Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegars from Mountain Town Olive Oil Co
And last night we made Cauliflower Crust Pizza, which turned out pretty yummy.

If you are a dreamer and a doer I highly recommend using Pinterest (if you aren't already).  Because it is the perfect place to get and store ideas (which is the entire point).  We've already been doing some Crafts, Exercising, and Cooking!  It is going to be absolutely essential when we start designing our Nest.

We're also learning to play the guitar (which I've always wanted to do).

Yes, my fingers are sore.

So with a few years of getting through life and a couple years of learning how to live life under my belt... We're doing it. 

We are living our life just as we would like.  We're learning, we're working hard, we're playing even harder, we're laughing lots, and we're finding all sorts of people we love (including ourselves).

Thank you for being a part of our lives.  We wouldn't have gotten here without you. We love you.


Getting Ready to Fly

I would like some writing prompts.  This is something of a command.  I'll get them with or without your assistance, though.  I need to set my mind to writing again, which is so frequently ignored, shoved aside for other pleasures, or out of fear.

In order to step back from what is constantly in my thoughts, on the tip of my tongue, itching to be let out of the ink gripped so intensely in my fingers, I need to be presented with other ideas.

I have no desire to ignore what is nestled in my heart and running (sometimes limping or sitting and sighing) through my mind, because they are things that need attention; however, I get stuck. I talk myself into dizzing heights and deepening gorges, but it's on a track.

I don't get very far, because I agree with every logical thought and darling emotion (sometimes they are of the same mind, sometimes they are not, but they are always and forever both absolutely right).  So I have decided to step off the track.  Right to the edge. That is where the path leads, you know.  To the edge.  And the sights are beautiful. And terrifying. 

And, as I have discovered, and have to continually remind myself, the only way I get anywhere is to act and to write.  And I plan on jumping soon; I don't know when.  I just feel it.  It's coming.  I wonder if I'll even notice when it happens?  Will it be so momentous that I will have to close my eyes and take a running leap?  Or will I just one day take a deep breath, open my eyes and realize I'm in the air? Do you think you'll notice? 

So writing prompts.  What do you think?
Random anything will do, although I can't promise to write on every subject suggested.  But if you have a desire to hear a subject as filtered through my brain, by all means, please, do let me know.

For now we are working with a short list:

Brightly colored clothing
Gift Giving
Favourite Letters


Patrolling for Snow

I meant to update you on last weekend's fabulous pirate road trip to Salt Lake/Park City to see the fabulousness of Snow Patrol.  Let's do a brief catch up. Ready?

Florina and TL reunited for pillaging

There was lots of shopping and statue molesting

And catching up with the delightful Marti, with whom we went to school

And then seeing the amazing Gary Lightbody lead the fabulous Snow Patrol.
And, yes, he did hear me scream at him and answer, because he's wonderful.

What did I scream? Well, I refrained from screaming lots of lascivious things, but when he mentioned someone might have to come on stage and whisper lyrics in his ear I completely lost what little self control I had (which is not a lot, because I was screaming and bouncing and have bruises to prove it).
My arm shot in the air and I screamed, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

To which Gary chuckled and said, "I can't pick just one of you. Did you see how many hands went up? That wouldn't be fair."

Now, that may not seem like anything super special, but I didn't do his reply justice.

You have to imagine him in his comfortable, worn, dark t-shirt, and black jeans, holding the microphone with his large hands, which happen to be connected just as they should be to the ends of his long and skinny arms that could wrap all the way around me until his perfectly connected hands could grab his own shoulders. 

And his hair. 

I don't think you could quite see his hair in that response.  How it falls recklessly just below his ears with the same amount of curl that begs to be assigned to Mr. Darcy. How it flounces around with sheer joy when he excitedly and energetically sings.

Or his lips.

That quite possibly exist for more reasons than just to release words with a devilish Irish brogue and make me weak in the knees, but I prefer not to think about what those reasons are, because then his response might cause me to actually pass out.

Can you imagine?
How about now?

gL bathed in color. oh snap.

Or Now?

So things went a bit fuzzy and I stopped breathing.  I know I'm a bit overly dramatic.

I'll just let you absorb that statement because we all should enjoy my sarcasm as much as I do.

So I know I'm a BIT Overly DRAMATIC, but only a few things make my autonomous functions, like breathing, stop.  Apparently, Gary Lightbody talking to ME is one of those things (no, I won't at all even think he could have been talking to anyone else, because I heard every other scream that night, and no one else screamed those words; at least that's what I'm sticking to) .

Now, I will temper it with the fact that the AMAZINGLY LUCKY girl that screamed, "I LOVE YOU." right as everyone got really quiet got Gary to ask, "Would you like to go out to dinner?"

So see, I am not as delusional as we all actually fear; I don't actually think he'll fall madly in love with me if he met me (but I'm awesome, so he probably should). But I do much prefer my made up love affairs to the real thing.  At least until the real thing can live up to the way I want my novel to go.

Anyway, I got to see Snow Patrol and gL for the second time. Each time with Flo (she totally gets to claim all honors for when gL and I meet and fall madly in love and have an internationally distanced love affair involving lots of missives and an occasional snog, amongst other things).

And this is what happens...
(from kicking your bar stool)

As a result of this...
Doesn't it seem weird how tiny he is on the camera?
Because he was much bigger from where I was seated.

 But I was so glad we were sitting. I think I could have caused all sorts of disasters if I tried to be on the floor. And I think my friends, Snow Patrol, and gL (even if the latter two don't specifically know why) were glad I was safely barricaded on the second floor balcony, as well.

So a HUGE Thank you to Angel and Marti! For helping me have my little adventures (and even joining in) and helping me do what I want to do most: