I've done the unthinkable. I've woken my soundly sleeping child.
I didn't exactly mean to.
I'm reading a new book called Killing Hitler, and, of course, there are moments described about the genocide.... And as I'm reading a quote about a one-year-old I realize I must absolutely look at Aurora.
I walk into the bedroom. There she is. Sleeping contentedly in her bassinet. Her favourite animal and best friend, Sheepy, lying across her face. I sit on the bed to watch her. This wakes her up.
And we sit and stare at each other for a moment. I think she was trying to decide if I was real or not as I was not moving. But then I smile and she smiles back. And I smile more and her smile gets bigger in response. And suddenly her nu-nu pops out of her mouth and in the tiniest coo, like the coo from Cindy Who, says "guh." This is the beginning of my waterworks.
The crying slightly confuses her for a moment, but as I lean over and whisper, "I love you more than one million sharks," another huge smile spreads across her face.
Oh I am done for. If it wasn't certain before it certainly is now.
28.4.06
restless night
Couldn't sleep last night. Tried going to bed at 9:30, fell asleep arond 10 minutes later and woke up at 10:09. Impossible to fall back asleep as I was expecting Eddie home around 8 and he didn't get in until 11:45. So around 12:15 I got up and watched some Harry Potter. Went to bed an hour later, finally fell asleep.
Awoke at 6 to a screaming child. Tried to get her to go back to sleep. The next 20 minutes was a joyless cacophony of A. wailing, me muttering, silence, wailing, silence, scream, foul words, screaming, silence, whimper, silence, til the finale of endless screams. After careful appraisal of the situation I surmised A. would not be falling back asleep despite the weeklong routine of peaceful slumber for around 12 hours.
I made her a small bottle which she happily gorged herself on and then laid her back down. I did not, however, feel like trying to feign a few more minutes of sleep, so I got dressed and got to the coffee shop by 6:40. If A. fell back asleep I know not, but she was at least no longer screaming.
Awoke at 6 to a screaming child. Tried to get her to go back to sleep. The next 20 minutes was a joyless cacophony of A. wailing, me muttering, silence, wailing, silence, scream, foul words, screaming, silence, whimper, silence, til the finale of endless screams. After careful appraisal of the situation I surmised A. would not be falling back asleep despite the weeklong routine of peaceful slumber for around 12 hours.
I made her a small bottle which she happily gorged herself on and then laid her back down. I did not, however, feel like trying to feign a few more minutes of sleep, so I got dressed and got to the coffee shop by 6:40. If A. fell back asleep I know not, but she was at least no longer screaming.
27.4.06
Smoking Gun
The joys of being "married" and having a baby are never ending. This is statement is both honest and loaded with more sarcasm then you can possibly imagine. Although if you know me you might come close to the level of sarcasm I am currently using.
The Good and the Bad came in the form of Aurora's last Dr. appointment on Tuesday. She is, of course, beautiful and healthy. Her 4 month height is in the 50th percentile at 24.25 inches. Her weight is in the 90th percentile at 15lbs 11oz. Don't be alarmed. Being in the 90th at this point is good. If she gets to be around 3 and hasn't evened out a bit I'll be a bit worried.
Eddie and I. hmmm, this is where the ugly comes in. I am a woman with high expectations and I can't understand why someone would "come to the decision" to live a certain way and then not to that and lie about those decisions. You see, Edison has again been smoking. He's not even very good at hiding it. And my olfactory sense is close to canine abilities (which may be the truth for most women).
How long exactly does one have to put up with "I'm sorry. I love you." and absolutely no change before giving up entirely? It is unbelievably frustrating. Unfortunately, it makes me feel so much the fool I get sick to my stomach. What other things can't I trust him with? He assures me this is the only thing.. but he is a LIAR, so where do I begin to trust him?
Maybe I'm already being worn down. Maybe I just don't care if he smokes as long as it isn't around me or Aurora. Maybe he can just sleep on the effing couch every time he comes home smelling of smoke.
The Good and the Bad came in the form of Aurora's last Dr. appointment on Tuesday. She is, of course, beautiful and healthy. Her 4 month height is in the 50th percentile at 24.25 inches. Her weight is in the 90th percentile at 15lbs 11oz. Don't be alarmed. Being in the 90th at this point is good. If she gets to be around 3 and hasn't evened out a bit I'll be a bit worried.
Eddie and I. hmmm, this is where the ugly comes in. I am a woman with high expectations and I can't understand why someone would "come to the decision" to live a certain way and then not to that and lie about those decisions. You see, Edison has again been smoking. He's not even very good at hiding it. And my olfactory sense is close to canine abilities (which may be the truth for most women).
How long exactly does one have to put up with "I'm sorry. I love you." and absolutely no change before giving up entirely? It is unbelievably frustrating. Unfortunately, it makes me feel so much the fool I get sick to my stomach. What other things can't I trust him with? He assures me this is the only thing.. but he is a LIAR, so where do I begin to trust him?
Maybe I'm already being worn down. Maybe I just don't care if he smokes as long as it isn't around me or Aurora. Maybe he can just sleep on the effing couch every time he comes home smelling of smoke.
24.4.06
Great reasons to be a mom
3. When your baby stirs from her sleep, turns her head toward you, opens her eyes, takes a moment to focus on your face, SMILES, and then falls back asleep.
and
4. I swear I know her. Do all parents feel that way? It's the oddest thing. I can't quite understand it. It's as if she is me and I get to relive my very youngest moments... or perhaps it's just that I've always known she was coming and now she's here I remember what I knew of her from before.
and
4. I swear I know her. Do all parents feel that way? It's the oddest thing. I can't quite understand it. It's as if she is me and I get to relive my very youngest moments... or perhaps it's just that I've always known she was coming and now she's here I remember what I knew of her from before.
21.4.06
Things are beginning to look up. Yes the rent money was found. Yes my fingers are feeling better (although they are starting to crack and bleed in some spots). Yes the house is semi-clean. Yes I have to pay out the arse for my tooth next week, but what is one to do?
My grandparents are here from San Diego and coming to pay a visit to her royal babiness tonight! I'm so excited! I haven't seen them in three years and it's way to long for this girl to go without grandparents! Plus, I just can't wait to show off A. Because we done good. And it's one of the few things I know I done good with. he he he (and it's fun to talk like a yokle).
Got a reminder from Samantha about her trip to Ireland with hubby, Jeff. ohhhh, I'm all a quiver with excitement and to see pictures! We've decided we won't travel internationally until A's about 10, and she can appreciate it. I asked Sam to bring me back a red headed Irish Man, but we'll keep it on the DL, so it doesn't hurt Eddie's feelings. Of course, I wouldn't object to her bringing me back Liam Neeson, either. Watched Kingdom of Heaven last night to start building the excitement even more, just in case.
My grandparents are here from San Diego and coming to pay a visit to her royal babiness tonight! I'm so excited! I haven't seen them in three years and it's way to long for this girl to go without grandparents! Plus, I just can't wait to show off A. Because we done good. And it's one of the few things I know I done good with. he he he (and it's fun to talk like a yokle).
Got a reminder from Samantha about her trip to Ireland with hubby, Jeff. ohhhh, I'm all a quiver with excitement and to see pictures! We've decided we won't travel internationally until A's about 10, and she can appreciate it. I asked Sam to bring me back a red headed Irish Man, but we'll keep it on the DL, so it doesn't hurt Eddie's feelings. Of course, I wouldn't object to her bringing me back Liam Neeson, either. Watched Kingdom of Heaven last night to start building the excitement even more, just in case.
19.4.06
On a lighter note
This was forwarded to everyone at work from the National Weather Service of Boise ID. I repeat this is from the National Weather Service. I did not alter the wording at all.
This is only the last paragraph, but it brightened my day considerably. I've bolded the best part of the warning:
REMEMBER...WHETHER YOU ARE DRIVING OR WALKING...IF YOU COME TO AFLOODED ROAD OR PATH...TURN AROUND DON'T DROWN. YOU WILL NOT KNOWTHE DEPTH OR CONDITION OF THE WATER NOR WILL YOU KNOW THE CONDITIONOF THE ROAD UNDER THE WATER.
This is only the last paragraph, but it brightened my day considerably. I've bolded the best part of the warning:
REMEMBER...WHETHER YOU ARE DRIVING OR WALKING...IF YOU COME TO AFLOODED ROAD OR PATH...TURN AROUND DON'T DROWN. YOU WILL NOT KNOWTHE DEPTH OR CONDITION OF THE WATER NOR WILL YOU KNOW THE CONDITIONOF THE ROAD UNDER THE WATER.
The week of Gone Wrong
I wonder if my silent screams have knocked anything off the walls of my office building. Can nothing go right lately?
Last night I burned the Shite out of two of my fingers. They are bright red, swollen and painful. Tho not as painful as last night when I wanted to cry. Never ever ever remove a freshly microwaved plate of chicken. Always wait until it cools down. The air trapped under the plastic wrap is deadly.
AND then I get a message from our landlord this morning wonder where our rent payment is. Well I paid it on the 3rd... and it cleared on the fourth. And I have pictures of the cleared check on my online account. So how does one miss not only a $500.00 deposit but another $250 I deposited for our roommate?
This is really a blow to my decision lat night to just "shake it off". I have a healthy daughter and loving pseudo-hubby and plenty of friends and family, not to mention a good job. So what is there to worry me....
I'm being tested. I know I am. I'm just trying to figure out if it's god or the squirrels behind it all.
oh and have I mentioned I cracked one of my procelain caps on Monday and have a dentist appointment this afternoon to try to fix it?
Last night I burned the Shite out of two of my fingers. They are bright red, swollen and painful. Tho not as painful as last night when I wanted to cry. Never ever ever remove a freshly microwaved plate of chicken. Always wait until it cools down. The air trapped under the plastic wrap is deadly.
AND then I get a message from our landlord this morning wonder where our rent payment is. Well I paid it on the 3rd... and it cleared on the fourth. And I have pictures of the cleared check on my online account. So how does one miss not only a $500.00 deposit but another $250 I deposited for our roommate?
This is really a blow to my decision lat night to just "shake it off". I have a healthy daughter and loving pseudo-hubby and plenty of friends and family, not to mention a good job. So what is there to worry me....
I'm being tested. I know I am. I'm just trying to figure out if it's god or the squirrels behind it all.
oh and have I mentioned I cracked one of my procelain caps on Monday and have a dentist appointment this afternoon to try to fix it?
17.4.06
Things I've noticed about Motherhood
(a) When washing bottles there are always more than you think so the second you drain the water and walk away you'll find one sitting on the coffee table, even though you just cleaned one you picked up from the coffee table
(b) Soapy bubbles also cause bottle accessories (like nipples and air vents) to multiply rapidly and suddenly washing three bottles has turned in to an hour long affair with what seems like 10 nipples, 13 bottoms and 3.5 bottles.
(c) While barking dogs, dad crashing into the dresser and roommate throwing his books around will not wake baby, a mother emits loud noises through her pheromones so that even tiptoeing into a room, or walking by, will cause baby to awaken.
(b) Soapy bubbles also cause bottle accessories (like nipples and air vents) to multiply rapidly and suddenly washing three bottles has turned in to an hour long affair with what seems like 10 nipples, 13 bottoms and 3.5 bottles.
(c) While barking dogs, dad crashing into the dresser and roommate throwing his books around will not wake baby, a mother emits loud noises through her pheromones so that even tiptoeing into a room, or walking by, will cause baby to awaken.
How do you know you're a peon?
When the new VP brings his family by and introduces them to everyone on the floor except you.
Great Reasons to be a Mom
2. Every once in a while the stars align and the moment becomes perfection: lazy Sunday morning, baby sleeping in arms with a gentle smile, AND you get to watch the entire Meet the Press when they're discussing Interfaith relations.
15.4.06
I'm sure my parents would have a heart attack if they could see what I've been eating.
From the girl who until very recently (probably four years) wouldn't eat "anything green" to now having a salad made of spinach, eggplant (which I've only just started eating and tried for the first time on Tuesday), celery and green pepper.
But the diet seems to be going smashingly (7.2/70). 10% down. I've been doing little dances around the house, mainly to myself, sometimes for Eddie about losing 7 lbs.
This evening Aurora and I went to visit mum. Had a great time. And Aurora fell asleep in my arms. This is a rare occurrence since if she's falling asleep it's generally time to put her down and do dishes. We watched The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Aurora woke up and watched some of it with us. She's such an Angel. Except when she isn't, of course.
Tomorrow we're headed to dad's. We don't get to see Brandy, Kev and the kids this weekend. What with Easter and different family events. Poo.
Brandy called this evening. I've been getting calls whenever the kids are playing Karoke. First it was Stella, "Stayin' alive, Stayin' alive" and tonight it was Zene, "Pussycat pussycat I love you, yes I do".
I wonder what Aurora would sing. If what I sing is any indication it will be either Ani diFranco, James Taylor, or Robbie Williams. In fact, I'd put money on someday seeing Aurora with a microphone singing, "Me with the floor show, kick it with your torso, boys gettin' high and the girls even more so", since she does soooo adore rockin' out to Robbie.
From the girl who until very recently (probably four years) wouldn't eat "anything green" to now having a salad made of spinach, eggplant (which I've only just started eating and tried for the first time on Tuesday), celery and green pepper.
But the diet seems to be going smashingly (7.2/70). 10% down. I've been doing little dances around the house, mainly to myself, sometimes for Eddie about losing 7 lbs.
This evening Aurora and I went to visit mum. Had a great time. And Aurora fell asleep in my arms. This is a rare occurrence since if she's falling asleep it's generally time to put her down and do dishes. We watched The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Aurora woke up and watched some of it with us. She's such an Angel. Except when she isn't, of course.
Tomorrow we're headed to dad's. We don't get to see Brandy, Kev and the kids this weekend. What with Easter and different family events. Poo.
Brandy called this evening. I've been getting calls whenever the kids are playing Karoke. First it was Stella, "Stayin' alive, Stayin' alive" and tonight it was Zene, "Pussycat pussycat I love you, yes I do".
I wonder what Aurora would sing. If what I sing is any indication it will be either Ani diFranco, James Taylor, or Robbie Williams. In fact, I'd put money on someday seeing Aurora with a microphone singing, "Me with the floor show, kick it with your torso, boys gettin' high and the girls even more so", since she does soooo adore rockin' out to Robbie.
13.4.06
It's all about positive thinking
or so says everyone not having a terrible day.
First news comes through that, of course, Nicole doesn't want to sell the house for under her asking price even though the appraisal is $25,000 under. So now we are frantically looking for a house to buy because our lease is up June 30th.
Second news is that I tried to increase my retirement matching and even though I filled out paperwork LAST year for the first match, APPARENTLY there was a mix up and there hasn't been any money taken out. This is what I get for not paying attention to my check stub. But the reassurance from my friend in HR is, "Don't worry. We'll get it figured out. " Well, that's dandy, but I'm apparently missing $50/month from my retirement for the past year!
Third news is Aurora is not feeling well. She's been clammy and incredibly fussy. She was fine when I got home. But has become increasingly disgruntled and icky feeling. She's never had a temp before. I've finally managed to calm her down enough to get her to sleep. Because combined between Eddie's and my watch she had only slept 1/2 hour. Not so normal or good.
So here's to hoping for a cure through sleep for whatever might be ailing her, that we'll manage to find a decent and reasonable house NOW, and that the school magically gives me retirement money.
First news comes through that, of course, Nicole doesn't want to sell the house for under her asking price even though the appraisal is $25,000 under. So now we are frantically looking for a house to buy because our lease is up June 30th.
Second news is that I tried to increase my retirement matching and even though I filled out paperwork LAST year for the first match, APPARENTLY there was a mix up and there hasn't been any money taken out. This is what I get for not paying attention to my check stub. But the reassurance from my friend in HR is, "Don't worry. We'll get it figured out. " Well, that's dandy, but I'm apparently missing $50/month from my retirement for the past year!
Third news is Aurora is not feeling well. She's been clammy and incredibly fussy. She was fine when I got home. But has become increasingly disgruntled and icky feeling. She's never had a temp before. I've finally managed to calm her down enough to get her to sleep. Because combined between Eddie's and my watch she had only slept 1/2 hour. Not so normal or good.
So here's to hoping for a cure through sleep for whatever might be ailing her, that we'll manage to find a decent and reasonable house NOW, and that the school magically gives me retirement money.
12.4.06
The Not-So Super Powers of Men
Oi! Why am I ever surprised?
We're trying to buy the house in which we are currently living. They've asked for a lot more than we were expecting so I'm getting an appraisal. I've been "reassured" over the past week and a half that there is NO need for anyone to come do an on-site appraisal (Eddie is included in this), even though I keep demanding one.
So they give a number. It's significantly lower than the asking price. "Okay," I say, "Please, send me some official paperwork saying that."
I get a casual call from Eddie, as if this is something he anticipated, "For official paperwork they need to do an on-site appraisal."
NO Effing $h!7 . My silent screams are resounding. What is wrong with everyone? Has the entire world gone crazy?
The next thing out of his mouth, "It's at 11:30 tomorrow morning, can you be home for that?" or in other words, "Can you please interrupt your work day to be home for a last minute on-site appraisal you've been demanding since last week, but now have no say in when it takes place?"
We're trying to buy the house in which we are currently living. They've asked for a lot more than we were expecting so I'm getting an appraisal. I've been "reassured" over the past week and a half that there is NO need for anyone to come do an on-site appraisal (Eddie is included in this), even though I keep demanding one.
So they give a number. It's significantly lower than the asking price. "Okay," I say, "Please, send me some official paperwork saying that."
I get a casual call from Eddie, as if this is something he anticipated, "For official paperwork they need to do an on-site appraisal."
NO Effing $h!7 . My silent screams are resounding. What is wrong with everyone? Has the entire world gone crazy?
The next thing out of his mouth, "It's at 11:30 tomorrow morning, can you be home for that?" or in other words, "Can you please interrupt your work day to be home for a last minute on-site appraisal you've been demanding since last week, but now have no say in when it takes place?"
Slowly on my way to becoming SuperWoman.
I managed to quickly get some of the house in order when I got home yesterday. I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, bagged recycling, swept the floors, got some of the laundry together and then we headed out on our shopping excursion for our diet.
Wow. We definitely filled the cart with some things we don't typically eat and a lot of our favourites were passed by. In fact, when we dropped by Brandy's house on Monday night I took three full bags of food we can't eat anymore from our cupboards/frig. There's still more, so we'll load that up to take this weekend. Might as well not have it laying around tempting us.
We fixed dinner, or more truthfully, Eddie fixed dinner whilst I played with Aurora. We were stuffed and this is with our smaller proportions--I think simply forcing ourselves to eat 3 veggies and protein, yatta yatta yatta, we're actually getting more food than we normally would.
It was great! We weigh in today again, last time I lost 5.2. So I'm going to start designating it on the bottom of my posts: (5.2/70). Hopefully you'll see that top number increasing!
When I get frustrated.. like I can't have organic whole milk in my coffee, I have to switch to soy... I just need to remind myself this is so Aurora doesn't have a fat mum. It's all worth while.
back to being superwoman... I also did some laundry last night and... AND I ironed!! I haven't ironed since last summer when I had Fridays off! I didn't quite make it up at 5:30 am when I fed Aurora, which was the plan. But that would have been a miracle. So my small triumphs are enough for now. I'm sure next week I'll have to force myself to get up that early so that I can clock in some hours. I've decided to only work half days because my grandparents are coming to visit!
On Monday night, which was an exception, because we typically only get to see Brandy, Kev, and the kids during the weekend (but Eddie forgot his wallet) we had a blast. We got to play Mario Party 5 with Stella before she went to bed. I managed to call her Aurora for, I think, the first time. It was pretty funny, "Aurora sit down and play or we're going to turn it off." Do'h!
She laughed and I explained that it's usually the other way around. I'm constantly calling Aurora Stella! Stella completely understood. She was, after all, my first baby.
Zene and I had fun, too. I laid down with him and told him a made up story about Princess Tracy and Price Catepillar (he was burrowing under the blankets like one) and kitty brown-brown (which he named and I thought was pretty interesting because he usually picks the real kitty names: Tyson, Alley, or Sulla). When I got to the part about kitty brown-brown taking Princess Tracy to the computer room to find Prince Catepillar, Zene stops me and says, "That computer drives me Nuts!" Of course, he says it in the most adorable 2 year old lisp that would break your heart in two!
It will be so very interesting as Aurora gets older to see the dynamics between the three of them.
Wow. We definitely filled the cart with some things we don't typically eat and a lot of our favourites were passed by. In fact, when we dropped by Brandy's house on Monday night I took three full bags of food we can't eat anymore from our cupboards/frig. There's still more, so we'll load that up to take this weekend. Might as well not have it laying around tempting us.
We fixed dinner, or more truthfully, Eddie fixed dinner whilst I played with Aurora. We were stuffed and this is with our smaller proportions--I think simply forcing ourselves to eat 3 veggies and protein, yatta yatta yatta, we're actually getting more food than we normally would.
It was great! We weigh in today again, last time I lost 5.2. So I'm going to start designating it on the bottom of my posts: (5.2/70). Hopefully you'll see that top number increasing!
When I get frustrated.. like I can't have organic whole milk in my coffee, I have to switch to soy... I just need to remind myself this is so Aurora doesn't have a fat mum. It's all worth while.
back to being superwoman... I also did some laundry last night and... AND I ironed!! I haven't ironed since last summer when I had Fridays off! I didn't quite make it up at 5:30 am when I fed Aurora, which was the plan. But that would have been a miracle. So my small triumphs are enough for now. I'm sure next week I'll have to force myself to get up that early so that I can clock in some hours. I've decided to only work half days because my grandparents are coming to visit!
On Monday night, which was an exception, because we typically only get to see Brandy, Kev, and the kids during the weekend (but Eddie forgot his wallet) we had a blast. We got to play Mario Party 5 with Stella before she went to bed. I managed to call her Aurora for, I think, the first time. It was pretty funny, "Aurora sit down and play or we're going to turn it off." Do'h!
She laughed and I explained that it's usually the other way around. I'm constantly calling Aurora Stella! Stella completely understood. She was, after all, my first baby.
Zene and I had fun, too. I laid down with him and told him a made up story about Princess Tracy and Price Catepillar (he was burrowing under the blankets like one) and kitty brown-brown (which he named and I thought was pretty interesting because he usually picks the real kitty names: Tyson, Alley, or Sulla). When I got to the part about kitty brown-brown taking Princess Tracy to the computer room to find Prince Catepillar, Zene stops me and says, "That computer drives me Nuts!" Of course, he says it in the most adorable 2 year old lisp that would break your heart in two!
It will be so very interesting as Aurora gets older to see the dynamics between the three of them.
9.4.06
Oh my, I took a nap today. I can't remember the last time I got a real nap. I was thinking I'd only sleep for an hour. I passed Aurora off to Eddie and went to the bedroom. Two hours later Eddie came to wake me up.
Delicious delicious sleep. I might even consider giving up coffee if I could get sleep for it.
Once again, as every time I get to sleep, I dreamt about Harry Potter. I wasn't actually Harry this time, which is a switch. I've just finished (this afternoon before the nap) rereading the series.
Now I'm on to something a little more serious. Killing Hitler, about assassination attempts on Hitler. I pray I continue to dream about Harry.
Aurora was in an odd mood today. Didn't really want to play too much. Had more trouble than usual, which isn't usually much mind you, putting her down. She was convinced she wasn't tired when I knew damn well she was. I can only imagine this is a struggle which will continue to consume my life as she gets older.
Eddie and I have started a new diet. All very interesting. (somebody please send help, or food. I'm starving.)
Delicious delicious sleep. I might even consider giving up coffee if I could get sleep for it.
Once again, as every time I get to sleep, I dreamt about Harry Potter. I wasn't actually Harry this time, which is a switch. I've just finished (this afternoon before the nap) rereading the series.
Now I'm on to something a little more serious. Killing Hitler, about assassination attempts on Hitler. I pray I continue to dream about Harry.
Aurora was in an odd mood today. Didn't really want to play too much. Had more trouble than usual, which isn't usually much mind you, putting her down. She was convinced she wasn't tired when I knew damn well she was. I can only imagine this is a struggle which will continue to consume my life as she gets older.
Eddie and I have started a new diet. All very interesting. (somebody please send help, or food. I'm starving.)
7.4.06
Great reasons to be a mom
okay, we're starting an official count beginning today.
1. Leaning over your squealing, grunting, "verbose" child with a smile and eliciting a giggle that will make you feel like you've just shot heroine into your veins and will do anything for another hit.
1. Leaning over your squealing, grunting, "verbose" child with a smile and eliciting a giggle that will make you feel like you've just shot heroine into your veins and will do anything for another hit.
6.4.06
Living up to her name
Aurora is officially living up to namesake the Goddess Aurora. She performed such a feat this morning, that there is no doubt an owl will be arriving in 10 years to say she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
This morning I moved her from her bassinet into my side of the bed, as I always do when I get up so that Eddie can comfort her easily after I go to work (since we doesn't get off work til 1 am they like to lie in bed a bit longer). Her nu-nu was left in her bassinet since we wouldn't be needing it. I walked out of the room--with Eddie snoring loudly behind me--to the kitchen to make a bottle. This process takes approximately 1 minute. When I came back Eddie was still snorning peacefully and Aurora had the nu-nu in her mouth.
I woke Eddie up to ask how in the hell he managed to wake up, cross the room to get the nu-nu and fall back asleep in the space of the minute. He did not think this was funny and swears he did not get up for the nu-nu.
Sooooo we have a very friendly apparition or Aurora has telekinetic powers. Yea!
This morning I moved her from her bassinet into my side of the bed, as I always do when I get up so that Eddie can comfort her easily after I go to work (since we doesn't get off work til 1 am they like to lie in bed a bit longer). Her nu-nu was left in her bassinet since we wouldn't be needing it. I walked out of the room--with Eddie snoring loudly behind me--to the kitchen to make a bottle. This process takes approximately 1 minute. When I came back Eddie was still snorning peacefully and Aurora had the nu-nu in her mouth.
I woke Eddie up to ask how in the hell he managed to wake up, cross the room to get the nu-nu and fall back asleep in the space of the minute. He did not think this was funny and swears he did not get up for the nu-nu.
Sooooo we have a very friendly apparition or Aurora has telekinetic powers. Yea!
5.4.06
"When the first baby laughed, for the first time..."
Aurora Laughed! And I'm sure now that Peter Pan had it right... fairies were born from that sound!
She's an incredibly happy baby. But have had no success at laughter, which I've been expecting for about a month now. I've been increasingly anxious about this lack of laughter (although smiley at every turn). I'm typically incredibly funny. And if not ingeniously funny, because can a baby understand just how funny I can be? I'm at least funny looking.
But tonight it happened. We were stripping for bath time. Aurora's little onesie was a complete button up and I quickly undid all the snaps and began laughing. She joined in for the cutest little giggle. I was so excited I think I scared her into silence, but I was soon laughing again at the success and she giggled AGAIN. At which point I was laughing and crying, which probably just confused her because she started to get that crooked smile, the one she gives me when I'm being an idiot.
I once again feel validated as a comedic person.
She's an incredibly happy baby. But have had no success at laughter, which I've been expecting for about a month now. I've been increasingly anxious about this lack of laughter (although smiley at every turn). I'm typically incredibly funny. And if not ingeniously funny, because can a baby understand just how funny I can be? I'm at least funny looking.
But tonight it happened. We were stripping for bath time. Aurora's little onesie was a complete button up and I quickly undid all the snaps and began laughing. She joined in for the cutest little giggle. I was so excited I think I scared her into silence, but I was soon laughing again at the success and she giggled AGAIN. At which point I was laughing and crying, which probably just confused her because she started to get that crooked smile, the one she gives me when I'm being an idiot.
I once again feel validated as a comedic person.
4.4.06
"I am walking out in the rain...
listening to the low moan of the dial tone again." -Ani di Franco
That's one of the regular songs I sing to Aurora. Ever since she was in the womb.
It rained today, and I had an excuse to enjoy a stroll. I was doing some paperwork at the coffee shop across the street from work. It began raining, and it wasn't even too windy. So I had a nice wet stroll back to my office.
I was thinking about bundling Aurora up and heading out for a walk after work so she could enjoy the fresh air. But then I took a deep breath and got nothing but worm smell. I almost gagged and that essentially ruined my nature walk for the day. It also killed any desire I had to even think about nature for the next week and a half.
My pocket-sized Asian will understand. As she so casually put it: The worms make her want to die. I'm not quite that bad, but it is a veritable gamut trying to get from the parking lot to my building without stepping on about 5,000 worms. I think they are in league with the incidious squirrels on campus.
My belief is the squirrels have littered the walkways with small branches and sticks, which look a lot like worms, in order to get you to step on the real worms, because it's almost impossible to dodge them all. I think it's a test really.
The squirrels are out to get everyone... this is just another in a long line of tests designed to see who they take out first. And you can't win. If they smell fear they'll attack... if you step on too many worms I'm sure they'll attack, as well. They're clever little buggers. Oh but I have their number.
That's one of the regular songs I sing to Aurora. Ever since she was in the womb.
It rained today, and I had an excuse to enjoy a stroll. I was doing some paperwork at the coffee shop across the street from work. It began raining, and it wasn't even too windy. So I had a nice wet stroll back to my office.
I was thinking about bundling Aurora up and heading out for a walk after work so she could enjoy the fresh air. But then I took a deep breath and got nothing but worm smell. I almost gagged and that essentially ruined my nature walk for the day. It also killed any desire I had to even think about nature for the next week and a half.
My pocket-sized Asian will understand. As she so casually put it: The worms make her want to die. I'm not quite that bad, but it is a veritable gamut trying to get from the parking lot to my building without stepping on about 5,000 worms. I think they are in league with the incidious squirrels on campus.
My belief is the squirrels have littered the walkways with small branches and sticks, which look a lot like worms, in order to get you to step on the real worms, because it's almost impossible to dodge them all. I think it's a test really.
The squirrels are out to get everyone... this is just another in a long line of tests designed to see who they take out first. And you can't win. If they smell fear they'll attack... if you step on too many worms I'm sure they'll attack, as well. They're clever little buggers. Oh but I have their number.
3.4.06
A Cherub-like Fountain
Aurora has proven in temperament to be much like momma. Her sense of humour, however, is already on daddy-scale.
Whilst I was changing her butt (oh how she loves butt changes), and allowing her a short moment of fresh air on her nether region, she decided to begin to vomit. It was a slow eruption which tempted me to reach for the burp rag and begin mop up.
As I began singing about what a cool mom I am because I managed to wipe up all the vomit before it got everywhere, she exploded with a pee-stream that shot straight into the air and might possibly have challenged any desk ruler.
First, let me explain that while I have had baby poop issues (thank you, Stella), I have never before been peed on by a baby. Until Aurora came along. Second, let me reiterate, I have never been peed on by a baby, even with Zene and Alex and I've heard tell that boys are crazy pee-ers. But, no, Aurora takes the cake. In her 3 short months I have been pissed on at least five times, and usually while I'm changing her in my bed.
So today, she managed to trick me, once again, into allowing her free-reign peeing. Fortunately, it makes Eddie proud to have such a strong pee-er for a daughter. And it is rather amusing to see a girl pee like a cherub fountain.
Nu-nu update: I just gave Aurora her nu-nu for 30 seconds and removed it with my ninja like stealth (which, if you know me, is on par with Mr. Bean) and crept out of the room without waking her.
I'm awarding myself the gold star for the evening. aaaahh thank you and goodnight.
Whilst I was changing her butt (oh how she loves butt changes), and allowing her a short moment of fresh air on her nether region, she decided to begin to vomit. It was a slow eruption which tempted me to reach for the burp rag and begin mop up.
As I began singing about what a cool mom I am because I managed to wipe up all the vomit before it got everywhere, she exploded with a pee-stream that shot straight into the air and might possibly have challenged any desk ruler.
First, let me explain that while I have had baby poop issues (thank you, Stella), I have never before been peed on by a baby. Until Aurora came along. Second, let me reiterate, I have never been peed on by a baby, even with Zene and Alex and I've heard tell that boys are crazy pee-ers. But, no, Aurora takes the cake. In her 3 short months I have been pissed on at least five times, and usually while I'm changing her in my bed.
So today, she managed to trick me, once again, into allowing her free-reign peeing. Fortunately, it makes Eddie proud to have such a strong pee-er for a daughter. And it is rather amusing to see a girl pee like a cherub fountain.
Nu-nu update: I just gave Aurora her nu-nu for 30 seconds and removed it with my ninja like stealth (which, if you know me, is on par with Mr. Bean) and crept out of the room without waking her.
I'm awarding myself the gold star for the evening. aaaahh thank you and goodnight.
Belated April Fool's
Do you ever have the feeling the world is conspiring against you? That any moment something is going to blow up in your face, and you should have expected it, but you were too busy trying to pass it off as paranoia?
I swear my coffee mug is doing a great imitation of a snake. Or maybe I'm reading too much Harry Potter again.
But every few minutes I hear the teeniest of hisses. The only possible explanation is my travel mug sitting on my desk, but I cannot for the life of me tell why it's hissing. It can't be mad. I'm giving its existence meaning by drinking my morning coffee from it. Shouldn't it be sobbing silently, thanking me for wiping the dust from it's now shiny black lid and lovingly holding it as I sip that ever necessary nectar of life? I would be lost with out it... or at least using a wasteful disposable cup.
I swear my coffee mug is doing a great imitation of a snake. Or maybe I'm reading too much Harry Potter again.
But every few minutes I hear the teeniest of hisses. The only possible explanation is my travel mug sitting on my desk, but I cannot for the life of me tell why it's hissing. It can't be mad. I'm giving its existence meaning by drinking my morning coffee from it. Shouldn't it be sobbing silently, thanking me for wiping the dust from it's now shiny black lid and lovingly holding it as I sip that ever necessary nectar of life? I would be lost with out it... or at least using a wasteful disposable cup.
2.4.06
Why do we save daylight again?
Wasn't someone supposed to be abolishing Daylight Savings? Really wish they'd hurry up. Like I don't have enough trouble getting sleep these days.
The whole no nu-nu resolve is a hell of a lot easier when at home by one's self. Although you can hear everything which occurs in almost every house on the block through the walls I don't really care if Aurora's screaming bloody murder for her nu-nu. The neighbours can go ahead and think I'm a terrible mom. When you're in the presence of friends and family, however, it is a bit more difficult to justify.
I mean, why was it again I'm taking it away from her?
oh yeah, so that I can get more sleep.
Unfortunately, this doesn't really seem worthwhile when a 2 year old (Zene) leans over and quietly asks me, "Is the baby hurt?" I hope he didn't recognize the terror I'm sure crossed my face as I answered calmly that no she wasn't hurt, and praying silently she didn't feel like she was.
So right now she's sleeping quietly. With her nu-nu.
At this point I'm sure I've confused and traumatized her 3 month old brain beyond repair, and she will forever have this subconscious nagging that I'm a horribly twisted and evil woman. Of course, this means she'll fit in perfectly in our little family because Eddie and I sometimes feel the same way.
The whole no nu-nu resolve is a hell of a lot easier when at home by one's self. Although you can hear everything which occurs in almost every house on the block through the walls I don't really care if Aurora's screaming bloody murder for her nu-nu. The neighbours can go ahead and think I'm a terrible mom. When you're in the presence of friends and family, however, it is a bit more difficult to justify.
I mean, why was it again I'm taking it away from her?
oh yeah, so that I can get more sleep.
Unfortunately, this doesn't really seem worthwhile when a 2 year old (Zene) leans over and quietly asks me, "Is the baby hurt?" I hope he didn't recognize the terror I'm sure crossed my face as I answered calmly that no she wasn't hurt, and praying silently she didn't feel like she was.
So right now she's sleeping quietly. With her nu-nu.
At this point I'm sure I've confused and traumatized her 3 month old brain beyond repair, and she will forever have this subconscious nagging that I'm a horribly twisted and evil woman. Of course, this means she'll fit in perfectly in our little family because Eddie and I sometimes feel the same way.
1.4.06
Overly Sensitive
As if I weren't sensitive enough, having a baby has made me about 3.5 times more so. A package arrived yesterday afternoon. My latest book order: Shel Silverstein books. I excitedly put Aurora in her bouncy chair and sat down to read her "The Giving Tree."
I don't remember it being that horribly sad! I got about 3 pages into it (and mind you the first three pages contain about one sentence each) before the message of the book comes rushing back to me, and I begin to cry. It makes it exceedingly difficult to teach one's daughter how wonderful reading is while crying.
This is a trait which has apparently been passed on to Aurora. I noticed it early on when singing sad songs to her. She loves Ani di Franco, but start singing Jewel, or Sinead O'Connor and her little face immediately scrunches up preparing for a full out wail (and I'm pretty sure it isn't ALL due to my singing ability).
Eddie had further proof of this while trying to watch King Kong, which I refuse to watch due to my aforementioned sensitive nature. He called me partly through it to let me hear how happy Aurora was with Kong. Every time he was on the screen (or Jack Black.. she really does take after momma) she began "talking" loudly. Unfortunately, Eddie soon realized how perceptive babies are when she begin to sob while they were murdering Kong. Brought Eddie to tears.
We were not moved, however, later that same evening while Aurora screamed hysterically for her nu-nu, which we have taken away from her (for further explanation read Heather's comments on pacifier addiction). In fact, we managed to talk normally through her frantic attempts to convince us she would die without the nu-nu. After 45 minutes I gave up and stuck the damned thing in her mouth. She passed out in .02 seconds and I removed it again.
We did much better this evening.
I don't remember it being that horribly sad! I got about 3 pages into it (and mind you the first three pages contain about one sentence each) before the message of the book comes rushing back to me, and I begin to cry. It makes it exceedingly difficult to teach one's daughter how wonderful reading is while crying.
This is a trait which has apparently been passed on to Aurora. I noticed it early on when singing sad songs to her. She loves Ani di Franco, but start singing Jewel, or Sinead O'Connor and her little face immediately scrunches up preparing for a full out wail (and I'm pretty sure it isn't ALL due to my singing ability).
Eddie had further proof of this while trying to watch King Kong, which I refuse to watch due to my aforementioned sensitive nature. He called me partly through it to let me hear how happy Aurora was with Kong. Every time he was on the screen (or Jack Black.. she really does take after momma) she began "talking" loudly. Unfortunately, Eddie soon realized how perceptive babies are when she begin to sob while they were murdering Kong. Brought Eddie to tears.
We were not moved, however, later that same evening while Aurora screamed hysterically for her nu-nu, which we have taken away from her (for further explanation read Heather's comments on pacifier addiction). In fact, we managed to talk normally through her frantic attempts to convince us she would die without the nu-nu. After 45 minutes I gave up and stuck the damned thing in her mouth. She passed out in .02 seconds and I removed it again.
We did much better this evening.
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