less than a week to go. ed and henry (Eddie's father and bro-in-law) have done a beautiful job with the hand texturing and the living room, our bedroom and A's ceiling will be ready to start painting tomorrow!
We need to paint the three main living areas by Wednesday, because the carpet is coming in. So the hallway and the kitchen come last. We need to be out of the house we're in on the 30th, so I've been packing lots of stuff and stuff. we'll be moving it on Thursday. I'm pretty sure we can get it all done in one day. When eddie and i moved in here it was just the two of us moving everything and I was four months prego. So this time we'll have lots of help and more vehicles. YEA!
I told eddie this would mean we're a real family now. Aurora will have her own room and we won't have a roommate. It'll be like heaven.
of course we're going to have to throw a lovely big party to start our new adventure off on the right foot.
Picked up A tonight from mom's. Crzy to have her gone for so long (mom came and got her Friday night--because I was in desperate need of becoming inebriated).
Aurora's asleep so I'm going to rest for a bit before hitting the hay myself (here I come mind numbing television and tetris)!
22.6.06
almost the weekend
almost time to collapse into a twitching heap amongst the boxes of things which i have packed and the many more things i have yet to pack and the ever present clean laundry which hasn't been put away.
Next week i have to start moving whether the house is ready or not and we're all betting on not. I suppose painting and carpet isn't that bad.. just trying not to kill any more of Aurora's brain cells than necessary. With parents like hers she's going to need everything she's got.
Next week i have to start moving whether the house is ready or not and we're all betting on not. I suppose painting and carpet isn't that bad.. just trying not to kill any more of Aurora's brain cells than necessary. With parents like hers she's going to need everything she's got.
20.6.06
19.6.06
and this evening we have news about a decapitation and then book banning.
but there's this great show on called "how to get a guy"
why the hell wasn't this on when i was desperately trying to get a guy to date me?
and wait.. all the tips they give are things I did naturally. they seem to forget to say these tips only work if you're skinny and attractive. if you're not you're screwed (or not as the case may be)
but there's this great show on called "how to get a guy"
why the hell wasn't this on when i was desperately trying to get a guy to date me?
and wait.. all the tips they give are things I did naturally. they seem to forget to say these tips only work if you're skinny and attractive. if you're not you're screwed (or not as the case may be)
a little time to clean
this might sounds ridiculous. I know it does.
but this evening i took a little time off to clean.
it's fabulous. no, things aren't really in the right spot and i'm not even entirely through one load of laundry yet, but the dirty dishes are in the dishwasher (which I'm enjoying as our new house doesn't have one) and the counters are cleaned off. Dirty diapers are in the garbage (this is a much harder task then one would imagine).
yesterday was our first official day of conference season. i put in 13.5 hours. today only 7.5. but A's with mom again, so I'm taking a few moments to collect myself (which means clean the house and fiddle on the computer).
Sam's back from Ireland. SOOO excited to see pics (and, of course, the small irish man I asked her to bring back for me).
I haven't been by the new house yet today. Eddie says they didn't get much done which is disappointing as we only have one more day (tomorrow) to work on it without Aurora. I have a feeling there will be quite a bit left to do after we move in.
Tonight after A falls asleep i need to work on packing up a bit more. I was planning on having a garage sale, but now that seems a lot of work. Tho perhaps I can set everything out and commission someone to do the sales for me. Might not be a bad idea. Or even have it the week I'm off (the week of the 4th) from the new place. Not TOO Much to move and at least it will be out of our hair quickly.
Eddie and I are getting along fairly well, considering.
I've discovered my anal retentiveness only pertains to certain aspects of life. For example, we needed a new front door for the house. We walked around for a half hour or so looking at doors and all the ones I liked (mainly for the simplicity and price) Eddie would turn down. Finally I gave up. As long as the price is do-able, I said, get it. I don't care, i'm leaving. He picked a lovely door, by the way.
I don't care what kind of texture is on the walls, just as long as it looks decent and is done in a reasonable amount of time.
I have no patience for such things. I just want it DONE.
I am very concerned, however, about the exact placement of our couches, my books, my teacups, our pictures, coloring, etc. There will be little or no discuss over such things. He better get all his decision making in now while I don't care.
ahh, the joys of women. Thank god he loves me.
but this evening i took a little time off to clean.
it's fabulous. no, things aren't really in the right spot and i'm not even entirely through one load of laundry yet, but the dirty dishes are in the dishwasher (which I'm enjoying as our new house doesn't have one) and the counters are cleaned off. Dirty diapers are in the garbage (this is a much harder task then one would imagine).
yesterday was our first official day of conference season. i put in 13.5 hours. today only 7.5. but A's with mom again, so I'm taking a few moments to collect myself (which means clean the house and fiddle on the computer).
Sam's back from Ireland. SOOO excited to see pics (and, of course, the small irish man I asked her to bring back for me).
I haven't been by the new house yet today. Eddie says they didn't get much done which is disappointing as we only have one more day (tomorrow) to work on it without Aurora. I have a feeling there will be quite a bit left to do after we move in.
Tonight after A falls asleep i need to work on packing up a bit more. I was planning on having a garage sale, but now that seems a lot of work. Tho perhaps I can set everything out and commission someone to do the sales for me. Might not be a bad idea. Or even have it the week I'm off (the week of the 4th) from the new place. Not TOO Much to move and at least it will be out of our hair quickly.
Eddie and I are getting along fairly well, considering.
I've discovered my anal retentiveness only pertains to certain aspects of life. For example, we needed a new front door for the house. We walked around for a half hour or so looking at doors and all the ones I liked (mainly for the simplicity and price) Eddie would turn down. Finally I gave up. As long as the price is do-able, I said, get it. I don't care, i'm leaving. He picked a lovely door, by the way.
I don't care what kind of texture is on the walls, just as long as it looks decent and is done in a reasonable amount of time.
I have no patience for such things. I just want it DONE.
I am very concerned, however, about the exact placement of our couches, my books, my teacups, our pictures, coloring, etc. There will be little or no discuss over such things. He better get all his decision making in now while I don't care.
ahh, the joys of women. Thank god he loves me.
15.6.06
from the brink...
let me catch my breath. please.
okay. work is maddening. fortunately, i love the people i work with at the office... working with people elsewhere is an entirely different matter. and because it's not good for the emotional environment to spew nastiness we will leave it at that.
we got the keys to the house on the 10th. eddie and ed ripped ceilings out on the 11th. we've been working non-stop on the house. only not really non-stop as it is virtually impossible to get any work done with A. around because she doesn't like the noise and even if she's perfectly happy and you walk by (without stopping to play with her) she acts as if you've broken her heart and are walking away from her forever. So poor eddie hasn't been able to do a whole lot. this is a shame as i do not and could not know how to put ceilings up. but mom (thank the heavens) has been watching A in the evenings so I can get SOME work done. To this point I've pulled trim and scraped hideous wallpaper.
This leaves us with replacing the insulation, replacing ceilings, hand texturing walls, hand stamping the ceilings, putting on trim, painting and replacing the carpets. (drum roll please) all before the 30th when we need to be out of the house we are currently renting. Oh, wait, i forgot we also need pack and move everything. All during two of my busiest weeks at work.
i haven't done this much physical labour since.. well, labour. as a testament to my harriedness i'm again wearing my hair in pigtails every day (altho i cut my hair much shorter to prevent me from wearing my hair up everyday... but my crzy hair demands daily attention and i don't have the heart to take a shower and fix my hair in the mornings and wake eddie up, so i do it at night which leaves me with something that should only belong in a thiller video on my head).
when eddie uploads the pictures from the house i'll post them. it'll be great wehen we're done, but for now i pretty much hate the inside of the house. i love the outside tho. we have a gorgeous black walnut tree.. HUGE. and a lovely bunch of mint growing by our front window right next to the bright plastic flowers the previous owners graciously planted to save me from having to garden. i figure i'll rip those out after we move in and just transplant the mint into other areas of the front flower box so we'll have lots of yummy mint. then i'll just do potted herbs (instead of in the actual ground in the flower box) because there aren't gutters yet and they would all get washed away in rain.
other than all that.. yea we have a house.
okay. work is maddening. fortunately, i love the people i work with at the office... working with people elsewhere is an entirely different matter. and because it's not good for the emotional environment to spew nastiness we will leave it at that.
we got the keys to the house on the 10th. eddie and ed ripped ceilings out on the 11th. we've been working non-stop on the house. only not really non-stop as it is virtually impossible to get any work done with A. around because she doesn't like the noise and even if she's perfectly happy and you walk by (without stopping to play with her) she acts as if you've broken her heart and are walking away from her forever. So poor eddie hasn't been able to do a whole lot. this is a shame as i do not and could not know how to put ceilings up. but mom (thank the heavens) has been watching A in the evenings so I can get SOME work done. To this point I've pulled trim and scraped hideous wallpaper.
This leaves us with replacing the insulation, replacing ceilings, hand texturing walls, hand stamping the ceilings, putting on trim, painting and replacing the carpets. (drum roll please) all before the 30th when we need to be out of the house we are currently renting. Oh, wait, i forgot we also need pack and move everything. All during two of my busiest weeks at work.
i haven't done this much physical labour since.. well, labour. as a testament to my harriedness i'm again wearing my hair in pigtails every day (altho i cut my hair much shorter to prevent me from wearing my hair up everyday... but my crzy hair demands daily attention and i don't have the heart to take a shower and fix my hair in the mornings and wake eddie up, so i do it at night which leaves me with something that should only belong in a thiller video on my head).
when eddie uploads the pictures from the house i'll post them. it'll be great wehen we're done, but for now i pretty much hate the inside of the house. i love the outside tho. we have a gorgeous black walnut tree.. HUGE. and a lovely bunch of mint growing by our front window right next to the bright plastic flowers the previous owners graciously planted to save me from having to garden. i figure i'll rip those out after we move in and just transplant the mint into other areas of the front flower box so we'll have lots of yummy mint. then i'll just do potted herbs (instead of in the actual ground in the flower box) because there aren't gutters yet and they would all get washed away in rain.
other than all that.. yea we have a house.
6.6.06
"The dream reveals the reality ...."
Please note the following interpretation, found at http://www.dreamloverinc.com/
"Adultery: Many people seem to have dreams about committing adultery or about their spouse committing adultery (cheating or being cheated on). In this dictionary there is a definition for cheating and here I will add a few more thoughts about this dream topic. Many dreams come from the private unconscious and are a reflection on thoughts, fears, desires, issues or are a response to stressful or anxiety provoking situations. The details of the dream need to be considered before attempting an interpretation. Details such as who is cheating on whom and what are the circumstances surrounding this dream event, need to be established.... On rare occasions a person may suspect, or feel on some level, that their mate is not faithful but is not willing to admit this consciously. Thus, in the dream state the individual confronts his fears and from there may begin to deal with the situation on a conscious level. 'The dream reveals the reality which conception lags behind.' Franz Kafka"
Whenever Eddie and I "discuss" his smoking habits and whether he is telling me the truth or lying to me (more often then not he has been caught in a lie and then decides to confess and then twists it around to say he has been truthful... I don't find being caught synonymous with honesty) I dream that night that he is cheating on me.
These dreams are horrible. The make me sick to my stomach and more often than not I wake trying to hold back tears. I've tried to explain to him that for some reason his lying to be about cigarettes makes my subconscious think it's not a big step for him to then lie to me about a woman.
Is that irrational? Sometimes I think it is, even as I present my own case there is a small voice in my head saying, "Oh come ON. Just because he takes a few puffs doesn't mean the next thing on his list is debauchery." BUT then the dreams happen. And, yes, despite my bitching and wondering if it wouldn't be easier on my own my biggest fear is him deciding he doesn't love me as much as he thinks he does or even if he does there is some one he will love differently and won't be able to resist the temptation.
From day one I told him if that ever happened I just wanted the courtesy of being told. I don't want to find some strange women in my bed.
So much for my idea of freedom to love. It went quite out the window when Eddie and I got together.
"Adultery: Many people seem to have dreams about committing adultery or about their spouse committing adultery (cheating or being cheated on). In this dictionary there is a definition for cheating and here I will add a few more thoughts about this dream topic. Many dreams come from the private unconscious and are a reflection on thoughts, fears, desires, issues or are a response to stressful or anxiety provoking situations. The details of the dream need to be considered before attempting an interpretation. Details such as who is cheating on whom and what are the circumstances surrounding this dream event, need to be established.... On rare occasions a person may suspect, or feel on some level, that their mate is not faithful but is not willing to admit this consciously. Thus, in the dream state the individual confronts his fears and from there may begin to deal with the situation on a conscious level. 'The dream reveals the reality which conception lags behind.' Franz Kafka"
Whenever Eddie and I "discuss" his smoking habits and whether he is telling me the truth or lying to me (more often then not he has been caught in a lie and then decides to confess and then twists it around to say he has been truthful... I don't find being caught synonymous with honesty) I dream that night that he is cheating on me.
These dreams are horrible. The make me sick to my stomach and more often than not I wake trying to hold back tears. I've tried to explain to him that for some reason his lying to be about cigarettes makes my subconscious think it's not a big step for him to then lie to me about a woman.
Is that irrational? Sometimes I think it is, even as I present my own case there is a small voice in my head saying, "Oh come ON. Just because he takes a few puffs doesn't mean the next thing on his list is debauchery." BUT then the dreams happen. And, yes, despite my bitching and wondering if it wouldn't be easier on my own my biggest fear is him deciding he doesn't love me as much as he thinks he does or even if he does there is some one he will love differently and won't be able to resist the temptation.
From day one I told him if that ever happened I just wanted the courtesy of being told. I don't want to find some strange women in my bed.
So much for my idea of freedom to love. It went quite out the window when Eddie and I got together.
5.6.06
They're gone. it's over. done. finite.
Just a quick note on work (which will happen only rarely). It has been a very odd weekend. This commencement marks my fourth year of being out of college. This class is the class which came in immediately after my class left and it says a lot about my class as we only had about 55 people and they had 203. We must have been incredibly scary to keep so many people at bay.
Being in special events means commencement is a busy time.
Being busy at work with a five month old at home = exhaustion. Exhaustion = inability to cope with life decisions. Inability to copy with life decisions = breakdown. Therefore, Being busy at work with a five month old at home = breakdown.
I love my daughter (really the only time I think about setting her outside by herself is anytime between 1:30-5:00 in the morning when nothing will make her happy and all I want to do is sleep). I love Eddie.
But there are times, especially around commencement, when old acquaintances reappear and past life decisions are thrown into your face and there is no choice but to run to the bathroom before crying in front a group of very influential people.
I am here for a reason. I ignored certain people and made certain decisions because I am supposed to be right here. Not next to this person, or on the arm of that person.
But that doesn't mean when one is tired and not wanting to go home from a 12 hour day at work to clean house that those other choices don't look sort of appealing. What if.. what if.. what if.
I was hoping it wouldn't hit me in the gut with a sickening thud. but it did. my only excuse is that I was tired. the smooth road called longingly to my sore feet and sleepy eyes.
fortunately, it doesn't take long for my beautiful daughter to bring me back to the here and now.
Thank you, A. What a wild and crzy adventure we're on. I hope you enjoy it as much as i know i'm going to.
Being in special events means commencement is a busy time.
Being busy at work with a five month old at home = exhaustion. Exhaustion = inability to cope with life decisions. Inability to copy with life decisions = breakdown. Therefore, Being busy at work with a five month old at home = breakdown.
I love my daughter (really the only time I think about setting her outside by herself is anytime between 1:30-5:00 in the morning when nothing will make her happy and all I want to do is sleep). I love Eddie.
But there are times, especially around commencement, when old acquaintances reappear and past life decisions are thrown into your face and there is no choice but to run to the bathroom before crying in front a group of very influential people.
I am here for a reason. I ignored certain people and made certain decisions because I am supposed to be right here. Not next to this person, or on the arm of that person.
But that doesn't mean when one is tired and not wanting to go home from a 12 hour day at work to clean house that those other choices don't look sort of appealing. What if.. what if.. what if.
I was hoping it wouldn't hit me in the gut with a sickening thud. but it did. my only excuse is that I was tired. the smooth road called longingly to my sore feet and sleepy eyes.
fortunately, it doesn't take long for my beautiful daughter to bring me back to the here and now.
Thank you, A. What a wild and crzy adventure we're on. I hope you enjoy it as much as i know i'm going to.
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