2010 has been a lifetime onto itself. I began with the ever lofty goals of oh ten. Oh dear. As usual I fell oh so short of accomplishing so many of them. I am not in the least bit regretful. I have accomplished more than I ever thought possible this year.
I have accepted some of my outer and inner layers which has in turn led me to so many joyous discoveries - like being kinder to myself than I ever have been, I learned to be less afraid of life and what I really want from it and myself. I'm the healthiest I have ever been. I am learning how to be a better mother through the transformations I'm making in my life (and, therefore, Aurora's) and I also believe many of the transformations I'm working on have been because I want to be a better mother.
2010 has been a wonderful year of painful decisions, learning to let go, saying goodbye, laughing and laughing and laughing again until I cry, dancing, road trip antics, working on my insecurities, trying to be grown up, trying to not be too grown up, staying brave and breathing.
2011.. I think we have a lot to be getting on with...
To Be Continued
17.12.10
The End is Nigh
That adventurous snow day almost killed me. It is cosmic pay back for all the times I snarked Jane Austen's characters ability to be struck down with a debilitating illness after a short jaunt in the rain or cold (please note it was done with love and attitude which Jane would appreciate and approve). So in the middle of a horrible sickness I also was supposed to be packing for my grand move.
The packing really didn't go so well. This made my desire to be organized cry. Literally. I'm ashamed to admit I still don't have everything moved from the old house. Still a couple of plants, my ironing board and all my things for storage and ALL my Christmas decor. This means I am not putting up my tree. I am lame.
Aurora, when she is here - as moving also entails shared custody - loves it as much as I do. A teeny little place that is new and we can put our stuff wherever we want! Her room is not all the way finished because we ran out of nails/thumbtacks, so photos are lacking. But thusfar we have....
The new place does not have internet yet, but I promise to fix that soon and then there will be more updates then you'll ever want. As with all of you, I am sure, there is a lot of goings on as we approach the end of 2010, some things are exciting, some are neutral and some are tragic. But I am, even when I am crying over things lost, or sick with stress, so thankful for so many wonderful friends and family in my life.
The packing really didn't go so well. This made my desire to be organized cry. Literally. I'm ashamed to admit I still don't have everything moved from the old house. Still a couple of plants, my ironing board and all my things for storage and ALL my Christmas decor. This means I am not putting up my tree. I am lame.
Aurora, when she is here - as moving also entails shared custody - loves it as much as I do. A teeny little place that is new and we can put our stuff wherever we want! Her room is not all the way finished because we ran out of nails/thumbtacks, so photos are lacking. But thusfar we have....
some of our little living room
LOOK! I pared down my books!
FIREPLACE! And I put a lot of heirloom items into storage boxes and kept mostly only what could be functional in my china hutch
Itty bitty kitchen and dining area, but it has a dishwasher!
An art area in my bedroom: top manga is from a student, the little baby was drawn by my sister while I was pregnant with Aurora, the bottom stick man is from Sam Brown at Explodingdog.com (a favourite artist), vampyress was done by Samantha's sister and then pictures of Aurora and my Piro sketch
Some of my Chad Walker (my favourite artist) prints from Devotedbee.com
and my long sought after tea cart, my grandma's travel jewelry case (red) and my mom's travel case that was recently gifted and is a lovely piece from my childhood
An unfinished corner... but lots of etsy love such as a little owlie named Tracy from Zemphira and Morgana my little Bodkin from Tanya and my keep calm prints from KeepCalmShop!
I am also figuring out how to operate out of a place that doesn't have a lot of shelves or cupboards, the closet is a bit odd..but I think it's getting there (sorry about the smalls, just avert your eyes if you need)
The new place does not have internet yet, but I promise to fix that soon and then there will be more updates then you'll ever want. As with all of you, I am sure, there is a lot of goings on as we approach the end of 2010, some things are exciting, some are neutral and some are tragic. But I am, even when I am crying over things lost, or sick with stress, so thankful for so many wonderful friends and family in my life.
I am so looking forward to Christmas and the new year. 2010 has been so glorious I am excited to make sure 2011 tops it!
1.12.10
Snow Day
Our snow day began yesterday really. I picked up Aurora and we had some girly plans to FINALLY get her haircut. She still isn't completely sold on it, but to help ease the blow of my refusing to deal with her crying over tangles any longer, I let her pick some color to put on it.
This, unfortunately, is the last gracious picture she allowed me, but she picked black and purple and I picked this hairstyle. And don't fear... Megan did a very subtle coloring job, which turned out very pretty.
And then Aurora got to have an early Christmas with Bodhi (unfortunately, I couldn't go since I have a nasty cold and can't be around the sweetheart).
Instead I made the trek into the big city (about 30 minutes away) for a friend's birthday dinner and realized about half way there that it was snowing and still snowing and I wasn't having a panic attack! This is from the woman who if the storm clouds are overhead and there is a social event to attend I tend to cower in the corner (literally).
I was so proud of myself I even picked up Frances and drove to the dinner instead of making her drive. AND DROVE HOME IN IT. No attacks. Okay, there was a point I got really really nervous because I had a sneezing fit as I was trying to exit the icy freeway, but I think that is understandable. I don't know if this is just a freak turn of events, or if I'm really just not as broken as I used to be.
The snow continued to fall all night and school was canceled And not just Aurora's, mine was too, so after rearranging some appointments and setting my out of offices Aurora and I got dressed and treated ourselves to breakfast.
I am going to proudly tell you how I braved uncovering my entire car from six inches of snow and managed to NOT get stuck getting out of the alley way (although I really was expecting I would since I usually refuse to drive in snow). It was funny to see how many people were braving the horrible roads to have some yummy breakfast. The Sunrise was packed! We had delicious hot cocoa (okay, I had coffee) and bacon and sausage and pancakes and cinnamon french toast and scrambled eggs.
By the time we made it out, however, I was no longer very comfortable. The roads had magically gotten about three times worse. I was very happy we only had a few blocks to make it home. One side of the alley has a slight incline to it and my poor little car couldn't handle it. I had to back down and make my way around the block to the other side to get parked.
This is where the story gets pretty interesting. Aurora asked if she could go outside to build a snowman. I'm going to be honest. She'll be five in 19 days and I have never built a snowman with her. Or played in the snow at all. I don't like it. I don't like being cold. It makes my flesh ache. Literally. But I occasionally feel like I should try to make up for bad mommy moments and figured since there was SO MUCH snow this would be the opportune time to get my snow time out of the way for the next five years.
So we geared up. I found her snow bibs that have been hanging in her closet for a year (or two) and magically just happen to fit this winter. I have no such protective wear as I don't go out in the snow, but do have snow boots (from our trip to the McCall Winter Festival a few years ago). Have I mentioned yet that I am sick? I have this nasty head cold and body aches. I'm going to blame my pallor on the illness.
Aurora, as usual, dove head first into her adventure (much like doing somersaults down the seven foot water slide this summer) and proceeded to throw herself bodily into the snow as often as possible. We even got around to making that snowman.
He told me he's the illegitimate love child of Fred Flintstone and Fred Jones. I was a bit intrigued. They are my two favourite Freds in the world. I mean, no one can bowl like Twinkle Toes, and who can rock an ascot like Freddie? No one. Except Fred, Jr. here.
Fred, Jr. was very sweet to Aurora, even though she keeps calling him "Frosty" and a girl.
But I think I know why he was so sweet. Whilst Aurora was making snowballs so "Frosty" could defend "herself" from snow marauders he got a little handsy with me and pinched my arse. I was all set to give him a stern talking, but apparently he has my number because he just flashed me that crooked little grin and straightened his ascot and I melted a bit.
I've agreed he can keep me company until I move (which will be probably over the next week with all the snow).
Aurora and I then came in side to defrost and as I was just about to dethaw entirely I get a message from Jethro who thinks it was a nice effort I made with Aurora, but really it would be so much cooler if I took her sledding at the hill at the college.
I'm absolutely sure for all my preemptive complaints about cold weather he didn't hear a word and certainly didn't understand I had just spent more time in the snow then I had done in the previous 20 years. My feathers got slightly ruffled and I conceded. It would make me a slightly awesome mom. It is also what has me completely knackered.
We re-geared and walked the few blocks and played some more.
Upon returning home, however, my aches took me full force and my eyes are burning and I feel like my face is going to fall off. So lots and lots of hot tea and a small nap (until certain persons who shall remain nameless woke me after 20 minutes) and soon Harry Potter and some crocheting.
This, unfortunately, is the last gracious picture she allowed me, but she picked black and purple and I picked this hairstyle. And don't fear... Megan did a very subtle coloring job, which turned out very pretty.
And then Aurora got to have an early Christmas with Bodhi (unfortunately, I couldn't go since I have a nasty cold and can't be around the sweetheart).
Instead I made the trek into the big city (about 30 minutes away) for a friend's birthday dinner and realized about half way there that it was snowing and still snowing and I wasn't having a panic attack! This is from the woman who if the storm clouds are overhead and there is a social event to attend I tend to cower in the corner (literally).
I was so proud of myself I even picked up Frances and drove to the dinner instead of making her drive. AND DROVE HOME IN IT. No attacks. Okay, there was a point I got really really nervous because I had a sneezing fit as I was trying to exit the icy freeway, but I think that is understandable. I don't know if this is just a freak turn of events, or if I'm really just not as broken as I used to be.
The snow continued to fall all night and school was canceled And not just Aurora's, mine was too, so after rearranging some appointments and setting my out of offices Aurora and I got dressed and treated ourselves to breakfast.
(I got so excited about her rock star bed head I didn't even do anything with her hair and I still love it)
I am going to proudly tell you how I braved uncovering my entire car from six inches of snow and managed to NOT get stuck getting out of the alley way (although I really was expecting I would since I usually refuse to drive in snow). It was funny to see how many people were braving the horrible roads to have some yummy breakfast. The Sunrise was packed! We had delicious hot cocoa (okay, I had coffee) and bacon and sausage and pancakes and cinnamon french toast and scrambled eggs.
By the time we made it out, however, I was no longer very comfortable. The roads had magically gotten about three times worse. I was very happy we only had a few blocks to make it home. One side of the alley has a slight incline to it and my poor little car couldn't handle it. I had to back down and make my way around the block to the other side to get parked.
This is where the story gets pretty interesting. Aurora asked if she could go outside to build a snowman. I'm going to be honest. She'll be five in 19 days and I have never built a snowman with her. Or played in the snow at all. I don't like it. I don't like being cold. It makes my flesh ache. Literally. But I occasionally feel like I should try to make up for bad mommy moments and figured since there was SO MUCH snow this would be the opportune time to get my snow time out of the way for the next five years.
So we geared up. I found her snow bibs that have been hanging in her closet for a year (or two) and magically just happen to fit this winter. I have no such protective wear as I don't go out in the snow, but do have snow boots (from our trip to the McCall Winter Festival a few years ago). Have I mentioned yet that I am sick? I have this nasty head cold and body aches. I'm going to blame my pallor on the illness.
Aurora, as usual, dove head first into her adventure (much like doing somersaults down the seven foot water slide this summer) and proceeded to throw herself bodily into the snow as often as possible. We even got around to making that snowman.
Fred, Jr. was very sweet to Aurora, even though she keeps calling him "Frosty" and a girl.
But I think I know why he was so sweet. Whilst Aurora was making snowballs so "Frosty" could defend "herself" from snow marauders he got a little handsy with me and pinched my arse. I was all set to give him a stern talking, but apparently he has my number because he just flashed me that crooked little grin and straightened his ascot and I melted a bit.
I've agreed he can keep me company until I move (which will be probably over the next week with all the snow).
Aurora and I then came in side to defrost and as I was just about to dethaw entirely I get a message from Jethro who thinks it was a nice effort I made with Aurora, but really it would be so much cooler if I took her sledding at the hill at the college.
I'm absolutely sure for all my preemptive complaints about cold weather he didn't hear a word and certainly didn't understand I had just spent more time in the snow then I had done in the previous 20 years. My feathers got slightly ruffled and I conceded. It would make me a slightly awesome mom. It is also what has me completely knackered.
We re-geared and walked the few blocks and played some more.
Upon returning home, however, my aches took me full force and my eyes are burning and I feel like my face is going to fall off. So lots and lots of hot tea and a small nap (until certain persons who shall remain nameless woke me after 20 minutes) and soon Harry Potter and some crocheting.
xoxo
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