I feel momentarily like wallowing. I would like to sit down and cry. Right Now. For a very long time. Until my head hurts and my sobs come out in strangled gasps.
I would like to pretend I am Atlas, but I have less responsibility and am more delicate; my confidence and bravado a costume to be donned when necessary, like Wendy in Never Never Land, pretending my way into this life. She was shot from the skies with an arrow, saved by a pretend kiss worn around her neck.
I am tired. Don't believe for a moment that I don't love this life of mine. It is everything I want it to be; and when it isn't, I change it. It just takes a lot of energy to make believe things into reality.
And sometimes it is hard, too. I am tired.
But in my tired sadness and desire to collapse against a tree in the woods with a pretend kiss wrapped lightly around my collar bone, resting on my sternum, I want to thank each of you that walk along with me.
Thank you for following, leading, pushing, prodding, waiting, watching, and resting with me.